Kinda Embarrassing....

You know how it feels when you haven't been to church for awhile?  It's hard to darken the door.  You are kinda embarrassed, kinda ashamed, kinda, I don't know.  You feel a little guilty you haven't taken the time to do something you really should be doing.

Not that that is the only reason to go, because I should, but because of this guilt thing built into me by my upbringing I feel like "less than" when I'm not "perfect".

What's that got to do with this post?

That's kinda the feeling I'm having right now. 

It's been forever since I took the time to sit down and put my thoughts out there.  Not that I haven't wanted to, or thought about doing it, or even longed to craft a post. 

It's the breaking the ice of my absence here that is hard :)

What is it that has kept me away?  Hard to say~

I am working that mandatory overtime thing yet.  Fifty eight hours a week.

I've been tying up loose ends in regards to my "full time" employment.  Physical, background check, proof I'm an American citizen and can legally work.  Can you believe the company that did the verification actually called me regarding my 'self employment'?  They wanted the name and number of my accountant or bookkeeper so they could verify I was self employed.  Ummmm... self employed in my world means I do everything!  Whatever!

I've managed to get pretty darn close to finishing THE FENCE.

I've got ends yet to do.  I'll have to cut some cross rails to size and slip them in an end post.  That will take some thought and precision.  Kinda scared to do it since I'm so tired all the time.  Think I'll make a mistake and waste the darn things!

Another view in the other direction.  That's DeeDee in exhile in the background.  She is still in drylot.  I have been moving the fence panels a bit each day so she gets to graze a little bit in addition to her ration of hay. She is cleaning up some rough spots~ two birds with one stone, ya know...   It's frozen a couple times here, but I think the grass is still not cured enough for her to be on full time, so it's twice daily feeding for me.  4:30 am feedings stink.  You see the light pole, but no light on it yet.  It's a little bit dark so I shine my car headlights that direction and take her her hay as I leave for work.

Today has been very unproductive.  I MUST pay bills yet today, I attended a fall dinner at my church, and I've done chores.  Not enough when I do nothing the rest of the week.  I did do my laundry yesterday afternoon.  Even folded it. LOL

I'm missing the creative activities.  I just pulled this out of the bag from when I went to the Fiber Fair. 

I got myself a super simple drop spindle.  I'm not thinking I'm going to be doing bunches of spinning or anything.  It's interesting, but I don't have the burning desire to do it, so I'll leave well enough alone.  Enough to do already!  What I got it for was to be able to ply some of the scavenged yarns that I've gotten from old sweaters.  Some of the nicer yarns are pretty dang fine, and being as I'm more of a "rustic" type of girl I wanted to make them bulkier.  I'm doing some very fine light green yarn with some angora white.  The resulting yarn is much stronger and I really like the color.  Eventually I'll make this into a scarf.

This is a slow process at this point.  I'm all thumbs yet!

So the bill paying process is calling me.  All for now and hope to be present here again sooner than later!

Ta!  JULIE